have been unavoidably detained by the world

eldabe @ 2023-07-11T11:22:00

2023-07-11T15:40:56Z

Ao3 is down, which is annoying and a little worrisome, but not a huge huge deal? I guess I grew up in the age where stuff like this....happened sometimes? I remember LJ had a separate hosting for a page that just confirmed if LJ was up or not so if LJ went down, that page wouldn't be affected. (I prefer that to the modern "just have a twitter account" method because twitter is a big 'ol mess right now, but I suppose that wasn't totally anticipated.) So I'm just used to this happening sometimes, and I know Ao3 is committed to getting back online so I'm not terribly worried. (I will once again note to myself to download all the fic I want to save forever because one day Ao3 won't get back up. Note to self! Take care of this!)

HOWEVER.

The thing that really got me today is that this? Is being reported? In the NEWS?

I? Hate this?

I recognize that faction becoming more mainstream means more people have access and knowledge of it and that's a good thing, it gives more people access and joy and that's a good thing. But I hate this so much. For a few, overlapping reasons.

I mean, I don't want to say I liked fanfiction more when it was more obscure because that's definitely cringe hipster, etc. But you know what? I DID! I liked it better when the consumers of fanfiction were like a club, a community maybe. Instead of how it's starting to feel now like a commodity. I find the line now is between people who read fanfiction and fan creators (writers, podficcers, etc.) and I dunno, I want to share fanfic with other people who want to talk about this stuff with me, with that community, not with people who treat it like...like a product for them to consume. Maybe the whole point of fandom to me was the messy weird creative culture of it and as the numbers seem to skew wildly, I just...don't enjoy it the same way anymore. I know people talk about how fandom culture was just as toxic in the old days, and yeah, sure, but it worked better for the weird trash wiring of my own brain better back then, I guess.

And FURTHERMORE, it's opening us up to stuff like this Archive of Our Own is down so if you were in the middle of a 100,000 word anime fanfic you can go touch grass or something equally unexciting. The judgement and condescension! I hate it! So much! It was always there, but I guess I didn't mind it when it was more underground because subcultures being misunderstood is whatever. But now the writer self identifies as someone who uses AO3 and we still get the judgement!

I bet Sarah Z. is goin to make a video ugh ugh save me now.

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eldabe @ 2022-09-12T21:52:00

2022-09-13T02:06:03Z

The latest OTW newsletter is out (including some stuff on the Bridgerton Musical, love that they are addressing it) and apparently the AO3 downloading FAQ has been updated. I re-read just to see if they had maybe made it possible to download an entire series in one download yet (nope).

And I was thinking. We talk about AO3 as a haven for writers, and it is and I love it. But I actually think this is one of the one places where it's...not, actually. Being able to download fic is a gift to readers far more than writers, many of whom would probably not allow that feature if it was there choice. It's one of the things hanging on from the old days, I think, where fic could drop off the face of the 'net in a heartbeat, and saving fic was sometimes the only way to keep it safe. Even writers lost their own stuff sometimes!

It's just an interesting contrast, isn't it? It's a moment where, actually, the writer doesn't have total control on Ao3. And honestly, I'm actually fine with it, I like the download option, on balance. Especially as sometimes I miss fics from LJ that I can't find anymore. Or worse! Fics that were hosted on one-off bigbang sites!

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eldabe @ 2021-01-18T21:11:00

2021-01-20T01:20:34Z

You know what?

I miss LJ.

I mean, I say that all the time, but there was an Arisia panel about "Storytelling Platforms*" (read: fanfiction platforms mostly) and ahhhhh I miss LJ.

My favorite part of being in fandom was just talking about it. Talking about fic, talking about meta, having these long rambly conversations with a handful of people...it's my favorite.

And I liked that on LJ things didn't get too big. Thirty people could have an AWESOME amount of threads and conversation and spin-off threads and ideas and fic. Tumblr is too big and it gets impersonal and crazy and there aren't conversation on tumblr, there are reblogs which is not remotely the same thing.

I haven't logged into my tumblr account in...a year now? I locked both of my twitter accounts back in 2019. Most of my fandom conversation is happening on whatsapp these days, which is great, but only two people want to talk my fandom with me and I feel incredibly guilty because whatsapp is a demand platform - I can't post and then rest to see if they want to talk to me. I have to actively approach them for conversation and it's a lot harder for them to turn me down if they aren't interested. And people are allowed to drift away from fandoms! But it's just...harder. And of course, it's impossible to meet new fan friends on whatsapp.

I still have discord, but I find discord a LOT HARDER to use. It's so fast-paced, and you miss stuff, and there's no easy way to link back to an earlier part of the conversation and there are no threaded conversations and I find it pretty impersonal and difficult. I haven't made any fandom friends online since...gosh. A long time.

Anyway, the panel was amazing, and I enjoyed every minute. But I ached with missing LJ. Honestly, the panel made me interested in checking out Wattpad for the first time, because they have some conversation tools and that just...so hard to find.

(I recognize as I say this that I'm on Dreamwith. And I ADORE Dreamwidth! It's just not where my fandom conversations are and it's fandom I'm looking for, I have to be honest.) (Although man, I love you guys here. I'm working on logging in more, and checking my flist more too ♥)

( *Actual description of the panel below )

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I keep remembering that I lost this summer...

2017-10-10T16:33:23Z

People are posting their Yuletide letters already! WHAT. In my brain it's still, I don't know, August??

(lannamichaels IT IS TOO EARLY FOR YULETIDE LETTERS)

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I'm dating myself. Dating myself as TOO YOUNG.

2016-10-31T14:52:41Z

copperbadge just gave an oral history of fandom on his tumblr and HE EXPLAINED WHAT WEBRINGS WERE FOR.

I literally had no idea wtf webrings were supposed to do when I stumbled on them circa...somewhere between 1999-2002? I remember just being really puzzled at them and poking at them and giving up on them entirely as something I would Never Understand. (No, really. I was so exited by them because they were about Things I Was Interested In, but I could. not. grock.)

I recognize how lucky I was to get into fandom post-ff.net (as much as I complain about it now.) It really informed my early fandom days of copying out giant swaths of fic and printing them out in teeny tiny print with the narrowest margins so I could inhale them on the morning bus rides to school. It's also been a great preserver of so much of the fic that would have otherwise been lost on personal servers and even LJs.

I love fandom, fandom culture, and it's weird, underground, oral history.

ETA: I recognize that a lot of fandom spaces are full of youths making the olds feel unwelcome, which suuuucks, but maybe it's the people I follow and the fandoms I've been in, but I still feel awfully young in fandom. Yes, even as the youths do things that mystify me and I find out that my fandom lexicon is completely outdated (lemons? squick? disclaimers???). Or maybe it's that I spend most of my time in old/closed fandoms. Or, really, it's probably that I am a fanfic snob and absolutely end up reading stuff by writers who have honed their craft -- unlike me, my stuff is adequate at best -- and I sorta wait for people to learn to separate between paragraphs when different people are speaking before befriending them. (I am a snob, write what you like.) So, in the end, still feel young, and it's wildly comforting to know there are people with rich, full, awesome lives still bopping around in fandom squee with us.

...is squee an outdated term too?

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eldabe @ 2016-09-29T16:19:00

2016-09-29T20:22:25Z

It's really frustrating when I have a fandom idea that is definitely tumblr-sized: short, funny (to me, at least), rebloggable, etc. The problem is that while I have no inherent objection to peeking back into tumblr, I have very, very little motivation in figuring out how to do community in tumblr. And I know if I post there I want to talk to people. ON THE WORST CONVERSATION PLATFORM. UUUUGGGHHH.

I mean, I'm a 3L but I don't have unlimited free time.

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I forgot I have a "fandom drama" tag. GOOD JOB, PAST ME.

2015-11-23T20:16:10Z

The OTW board is exploding in fire and mayhem!

Well, I mean, if you read the official post it sounds like business as usual, chaos disguised in politely worded sentences and punctuation. Luckily, fandom reporters got us covered.

My take? The board is always going to have to deal with constituencies who don't agree with everything they have done. (See: Unions!) Buuuuuut, on the internet, it's going to be magnified times A THOUSAND.

A lot of people have been (rightly!!) complaining that the OTW board was becoming insular and combative. Which is definitely true. But gosh, you couldn't pay me enough to be a board member*. Make one small mistake, or even just a decision that isn't universally adored, and you will be CRUSHED under the negative feedback spiral.

It can get kinda hard to separate the signal to the noise in that scenario. And frankly, I too would hide behind my star-spangled shield and sing the pokemon theme song to drown it all out. I don't agree with every decision the board made, but I do think they cared. I actually do with them the best.

Going forward, I'm almost considering donating and becoming a voting member. I have zero spare time, but this matters to be and I think this could be a great opportunity moving forward. And everyone is super excited about the potential. But if we really think the OTW should be run and contributed to by everyone, we too have to take responsibility in how we contribute.

The board screwed up. I'm not trying to defend the things they did wrong. I'm just saying it's so easy for the internet (you know, where fandom is) to end up in some very unproductive and damaging communication styles. And it's not always easy to find the blame for fallout.

*Not true. I'm looking at my job options these days AND YOU COULD PAY ME ENOUGH. Just don't make me bill out at 6-minute increments.

ETA: Also, the OTW has some pretty awesome legal staff, I vote we stop saying that stuff that was happening was illegal.

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HEART POUNDING EXCITEMENT

2015-11-09T19:51:49Z

Swinging by tumblr in the law school library is the most exciting thing I do every day.

IT'S LIKE RUSSIAN ROULETTE WITH PORN. Inception fandom has a lot of fanart and manips. ANYTHING can happen.

Mind you, I'm still waiting for the day someone actually reads AO3 over my shoulder while I frantically try to click away right after I open my computer every morning. Got to stop falling asleep reading fanfic.

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Some things don't have to be shared, ok?

2014-07-18T17:24:28Z

OH NO OH NO OH NO.

JEZEBEL DID AN ARTICLE ON ALPHA/BETA/OMEGA/KNOTTING/ETC. FIC.

I CAN’T EVEN BRING MYSELF TO READ THE ARTICLE.

D: D: D: D:

*stops talking about fandom to anyone not already involved forever and ever*

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Snooooooooooooooooooooooooooow

2013-12-10T18:49:59Z

1. It's snowing outside, and it's perfect snow, the kind that makes me want to curl up by a window and pretend I live in a snowglobe. I almost want to go to the park tonight and make snowmen, it's just so idyllic.

2. Apparently Orlando Jones is CRAZY FANDOM SAVVY. There's always that lingering uncomfortable feeling of fourth-wall breakage, but he's just so relentlessly positive about it all that I can't help but want to watch everything he's ever done. His letter at the end is stunning.

3. Overheard on the elevator leaving to my lunch break: "There needs to be a Magneto, but for like, cardboard. Cardbordneto." *dude makes dramatic hand gestures to indicate cardboard-manipulation powers*

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All enthusiasm above the cut!

2013-08-12T14:53:25Z

So, my roommate, batyatoon and sdelmonte have all heard my excited rambles about how I would really love to run or help organize a fandom convention dedicated to the back-end of the fandom, i.e. fanworks, forums, fan discussion, fans etc.

And I haven't really seen anything like that* so I was super excited today when I heard about KudosCon, which is a fanworks convention. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

(*Last year there was a idea floated about doing a fan-track at Dragon*con. I would have totally loved to help, but D*C shot it down. Boooo.)

Now, there is no way in heck I can make it to Bloomington, MN, especially considering I am blowing all of my con-energy this year into a last Dragon*con hurrah, but I'm hoping it starts a trend and it goes well and stuff gets recorded to put online. And I'll even scroll through tumblr for con reports when I feel up to it!

Lookit!. It's so shiny and fannish! Their "about" sidebar is all "and this person did THIS fannish thing!" :D Tickets start at $40, and you can purchase them on Kickstarter.

Addendum: They don't EXIST yet, and they already have some form of a diversity statement and a harassment policy. And a privacy policy! Which is SO SMART for a fanworks con.

( Slightly negative thoughts BELOW the cut! )

All that junk said, I would seriously love to attend every. single. panel at this con. For serious. Gah, I want fandom meta.

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Because you can't leave kudos for a fic posted on a blogging platform.

2013-04-16T20:50:43Z

I like reading comments on fics (one reason I favor LJ/DW fic reading over AO3 when I have a choice) and I'm starting to notice this interesting trend when writers reply to comments.

If the commenter is a stranger/more distant from the writer, the writer's response tend to address the specific points in the comment, or trend toward a generic and enthusiastic "thank you!" It seems that the writer really does appreciate the comment, but they're on unfamiliar ground and stick to the easier answers overall.

Meanwhile, if the commenter is a friend of the writer, the response to the comment might have little or nothing to do with the comment! I've seen comments that are basically friends going "WRITER, YOU ARE SO GOOOOD. <3!!!!" and the writer replies with a thesis about the work, and the thought process, and the bits they weren't sure about, etc.

Either one can start conversations, and obviously the first kind can be the beginnings of a friendship, but it's still kinda cool to watch.

FANDOM: Actually a ginormous sociology experiment.

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Do. Not. Want.

2012-10-30T20:27:39Z

*actually freaks out*

If livejournal actually does this and turns my flist into a tumblr feed, I'll...I don't even know. Freak out and cry for a day?

For all its many problems, livejournal has been my fandom home for years. And as a deep-down grumbly old person, I strongly dislike tumblr and the way tumblr functions. A big part of that is my flist. And my fandom life is so focused around livejournal, I don't know what I'll do. D:

(They might be getting rid of comment threads. I need to go breathe into a paper bag for an hour. *cries*)

ETA: I was so upset about this, I made a tumblr. I think I underestimated how much I would dislike how the tumblr feed works. At some point I'll summon back the energy to go back and poke at things. :/

ETA2: Aaaaaand...they might be getting rid of paid accounts? Which isn't a problem for me but I know some of you like your icons.

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FANDOM! shakes fist

2012-09-06T21:54:53Z

Hey internets.

I'm trying to write up a post on canon vs. expanded universe and how it works in my head so I can just start linking to it instead of explaining my stance every time there's some sort of meta-fight.

So far I can think of these forms of expanded universe formats (assuming the main canon is a movie/tv show.) Anyone have any others?

books
comics
audiobooks
radio plays
video games
Word of God

Thanks. ♥

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I call fellow fan. ONE OF US.

2012-08-15T01:37:31Z

'Losing Yourself' In a Fictional Character Can Affect Your Real Life.

I see the researchers at The Ohio State University have read fandom_secrets! :D

(Actually, the stuff about experience-taking while reading about gay and black characters was fascinating. Not especially surprising, but definitely interesting.)

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I hear they have new meta, and I am weak.

2012-08-03T00:57:44Z

Aw, cracker sticks. I'm going to have to go on tumblr, aren't I?*

I will post a few times all of my problems about tumblr. And then I'll make an account. I know it.

Unlike LJ, though, I have Real Life frieds on tumblr. RL friends who don't get my fandom handle. THIS WAS THE POINT OF FACEBOOK. RL friends to the facebooks, fandom friends to the livejournals. (And a handful in the middle making a mess of everything, but the handful are generally good.)

Blergh.

(*If I haven't mentioned it yet, talking to people is MY FAVORITE PART OF FANDOM. Sometimes I'm pretty terrible at it because of reasons, but you know what? Still my favorite part. Still the best reason to be here. And this from someone who lurked through fandom for a good six years.)

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The medium would be the message. If it would load.

2012-06-10T17:05:38Z

I know it's not AO3's fault that I haven't been able to load a page in three weeks without constantly refreshing, but it's certainly not endearing them to me. This may sound harsh, but if your site cannot handle the load, SLOW DOWN YOUR GROWTH. Limit how many fics a person can upload a day. Slow up on the invite codes. (Limit each person to two Avengers fics an hour/snark) They've said it's not a money issue, so they need to find other ways to limit traffic. *sigh*

So I'm back to browsing fic on LJ-only because if I get more than two 502 errors in a row, I give up. I just have no idea where the reams of sappy Coulon fix-its are outside of AO3. Lucky I've got a few hundred Torchwood fics saved in my rec list. *opens*

It's one of the reasons I keep cross-posting to LJ/DW and AO3, even though the Archive is much neater and prettier. I like it in so many ways, but ARGH. *headdesk*

(It is a good motivator for me to finally finish my master post! Should get on that.)

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AO3 Meme? I think?

2012-04-23T23:01:04Z

So I've seen this meme go around and while ever single person I've seen has done it differently, and not all my fic is even on AO3*, I check my stats like everyone else, so I figured I'd join the bandwagon my own way!

1. Some Things Never Change. Some Do. (Torchwood) with 292 hits! I'm going to assume it's the summary implying heavy Ianto/Jack, because this is a Miracle Day influenced fic!

2. Don't Tell Me Not to Fly (DC Comics, Lian Harper) with actually really happily surprising 254 hits!

3. Privately Owned (Torchwood) kicking off my COE-influenced fic with 178 hits!

3. It's About Torchwood. And a Baby (Torchwood, duh.) my other sappy Jack/Ianto fic also with 178 hits!

5. Sometimes Jack Does Things By the Book (Torchwood) with 172 hits and I have no idea why! Mostly Naked Jack is my only theory, but it's for cultural explanation, not sex!

6. Notable Figures (Torchwood) is Rhiannon's first appearance with 167 hits!

7. I Can Hear Them (Star Trek XI) is my not-at-all-kinky response to a kink meme prompt with 162 hits!

8. License! (DC Comics, Batman) is my only fic with Dick being adorable and bouncy with Bruce and Alfred and has 152 hits!

9. Something Like Closure (Torchwood) rounds out my COE fic with 140 hits!

9. Evening (Torchwood) is another prompted Jack/Ianto fic with another 140 hits!

( A cut to hide some of my random ponderings )

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All Your Arguments Are Invalid

2012-04-19T21:03:32Z

Well, in one of those click-through-the-internet moments, (a friend mentioned this post and then I saw this thread and five minutes of googling later...)

S.E. HINTON WRITES SUPERNATURAL FANFICTION.

It's official. She's my hero.

Plus, I found her twitter! And she's chatting away with Rob Lowe and C. Thomas Howell and I'm going to have to sit in a corner because I. Am. Having. A. Moment.

(For the curious - when I was fifteen I wanted to write original fiction and I thought fanfiction was a good practice/transition. And now in my early twenties, I'm quite happy where I am, thank you, and I'm frankly not all that invested in being an author, for a few reasons. So my reaction to this is mostly "whatevs." That said, I was devastated when I heard Robin Hobb was anti-fanfiction, and I had that same awful feeling when I read Ursuala K. LeGuin's opinion. I can understand Rowling's opinion, even though I gently disagree. I think fandom is really a part of a work becoming a cultural artifact, and fanfiction is just as tied up in there and legitimate as scholarly essays, conventions and chatting with your friends.)

(All that said, I hope she's never seen my Outsiders fic. It's the most emo thing I have ever written and one of the reasons I haven't transferred all of my ff.net fic to AO3. *hides*)

(PPS. John Barrowman is also a S.E. Hinton fan. This all ties into my as yet unposted ~feelings~ about his book, Anything Goes, but my Meet John Barrowman fantasy now involves us bonding over the book. ♥)

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I'll Be Back*

2012-04-04T02:34:10Z

(*You bet I did that in a bad imitation of Schwarzenegger.)

Anyway, if I haven't mentioned this before, I'm a senior more-or-less living on my own pulling 18 credits and writing a senior thesis on how comic books are analyzed in academia. (Not to mention the job-hunt-and-grad-degree-decisions. Woot?)

In theory, my thesis is due at the end of April and I've plenty of writing left to do. My point is that most of my fandom projects are going somewhat on hold for April. I have a story that is 99% done that might get posted, but forgive me if I don't reply to comments or news or participate in the rewatch in a week or so.

Love you all, coming back to kick some life into Torchwood, never fear!

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Commenting

2012-02-24T04:49:16Z

So, I've been missing patches of fandom time (more during class, less during breaks and MD) since...probably exactly a year ago. I've dug through three different blogs to catch up, but now I'm getting to the point where I have friends who might be more annoyed if I'm commenting on stuff more than a few weeks old. Everyone fandoms differently - I'll comment on old fics faster than I'll comment on old "real life" posts most of the time, because people generally LOVE comments on fics and aren't as enthused about comments on other stuff.

(I LOVE ALL COMMENTS FOR ANYTHING. I think the best part of fandom and the internet and people is the conversation potential, honestly.)

So now I'm unsure how to continue. Erm...

Although the great comment-war of '12 between me and sariagray and I may never be forgotten. *removes hat in moment of silence*

(I went about 350 posts back. It wasn't planned. It just happened.)

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Coming back is almost harder than breaking in...

2011-12-23T05:03:05Z

Hell Semester is over

*collapse*

I pulled an all-nighter last night. I haven't done that since high school. I have laundry everywhere and I'm half-asleep.

But screw it. I am not waiting another second to get back here.

HELLO INTERNET.

So, catching up is the worst. Things happen on the internet at about 4,367 times normal people speed, and I've been in and out since September. I might randomly comment on your old posts. Fair warning.

And I actually have a plan about how I'm going to go about catching up without going crazy. (I missed Big Bangs! D:) but I'm know I'm going to miss something.

So, friends, is there anything I missed you think I should be sure to catch up on? The fic of your heart that was posted? Some awesome meta-something that changed your ideas forever? News I should totally have known weeks ago that I probably missed? (I kept up decently with comic books, and I know RTD is putting his life on hold now for good reason. And...that's all I know. Certainly if there's been a fandom shakeup I have no idea.)

YOU ARE ALL WONDERFUL PEOPLE AND I MISSED YOU TERRIBLY.

ETA: Whoa, everything changed! I can edit comments. What is this strange new system? *pokes things*

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All the Fandoms!

2011-08-23T19:46:34Z

Nicked from 90scartoonman because any excuse to ramble about my fandoms!

Name a fandom and I will tell you...

The first character I fell in love with:
The character I never expected to love as much as I do now:
The character everyone else loves that I don't:
The character I love that everyone else hates:
The character I used to love but don't any longer:
The character I would shag anytime:
The character I'd want to be like:
The character I'd slap:
My five favorite characters:
My five least favorite characters:
My deep dark fandom secret:

I have no idea how I'm going to answer the last one. I'm pretty open about my feelings, even when I qualify them a bajillion times to avoid wank. And I've always got to qualify the shag anytime thing, because I wouldn't shag any of them until we were in a long-term established relationship, and I always feel weird answering those. Ignore my insanity.

I have lots of fandoms, any my interests list is probably a good start, but besides DC Comics, Torchwood, Doctor Who and Harry Potter, I've floated around Chronicles of Narnia, Lord of the Rings Fullmetal Alchemist, Avatar:TLA, Fruits Basket, The Outsiders, Buffy, Star Trek TOS, Nu!Trek, Fables, Four Bothers, Naruto, Bleach...go wild! :)

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