I am actually writing stuff.

[eldabe]

I stumbled on a quote nandamai posted posted on LJ:

"I can't complain when the free work of someone's unpaid imagination is rough around the edges, because they are still doing it for love and I still love that they are doing it, misplaced commas and all."

Biggest reason this quote is inspirational is I always feel like I'm walking the line between "decent" and "crappy" in my writing. I've been really struggling with this recently and it's probably one of the reasons none of my writing has been getting posted recently. I know full well my grammar usage is not fabulous (every semicolon you see in a fic has been put there by a beta. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.) and I have some problems with showing/telling. Also, commas are like fairy lights, sprinkled through ever story.

And sometimes I get back beta comments and I just don't know how to fix the story problems or I'm just too ashamed to send it to a beta in the first place and I psych myself out of writing things in the first place. And this happens all the time.

I sit on fic for months trying to go over it and fix it and then I just...do something else instead.

And when I think my fic has too much id? Don't even get me started.

And I know I can be wildly picky as a reader and I trip around fandoms that are FULL of these amazing, amazing, brilliant writers and I know I'm not putting in that kind of time/effort and I theoretically could/should and…

And reminding myself that the fanfic bar is kinda low helps.

Of course, then I found the original post and it's not as encouraging? But I think I'll take this one out of context, just this once.

[Also, posts like this are encouraging, but there's this thread of "write crap, and then you'll be better later!" I'm not saying it's not true, but it's still a form of pressure. I want to remind myself that even if I never get better, that's ok too.]

Comments

[silvercat17]

I think any sort of creative effort is admirable. You're exercising your brain. There's tons of people out there that just tear things down. You're making stuff. That's cool.

[eldabe]

Thank you! ♥

It's just...you see such judgement in fandom circles sometimes, you know? It's always really great to hear straightforward encouragement.

[silvercat17]

You do, and it's really unnecessary I think.

[batyatoon]

It is actually totally okay if you never get better!

There are people I've been singing with in filk circles for years, some of whom cannot for the life of them carry a tune. And it doesn't matter. They love singing, they love singing with people, and singing does not have to be flawless twelve-part harmony to be worth doing.

If it gives you or anyone else enjoyment, it is worth doing.

[eldabe]

Stuff like this is why I love the filk fandom even though I'm not, you know, actually in it any way shape or form. (I do want to come to the next housefilk!) :D

By and large fanfiction fandom runs the range of super-encouraging to super-critical (to totally indifferent). But my brain still looks around sometimes and goes "I can't even write next to these people what am I doing???" You know, brain stuff.

*hugs* Thank you!