Wow I had more to say than I thought haha (on Astoria Malfoy and fandom)

So I've gone back and picked the second fic to post. I posted two parts of it and then just...failed to post the rest (it's a five times fic). I THOUGHT I had finished it but actually part 5 is pretty unpolished, so going back and working through it is going to be tricky. (It's, uh, 45 pages long on google docs. So it's a decent five times fic, and I'm excited to actually finish and post even if it isn't perfect.)

( Some musings about what went wrong, just as a record for myself I guess. Reference to fictional character death below. )

This is all a long way to say that...I got hurt, in fandom. It wasn't a big hurt, objectively, but it hit me hard. And I think it's why, as DESPERATE as I am for recognition in fandom (what fic writer isn't??) I'm also pretty scared of being noticed. I haven't reached out to my old fandom friends, even if fluff is exactly the kind of stuff they could like.

Right now it's almost like I'm a fandom of me, my beta, and the really excellent people who encourage me even though they aren't in my fandom at all. And I'm so, so happy for each and every one of you, you have no idea. ♥