have been unavoidably detained by the world

Ao3 is down, which is annoying and a little worrisome, but not a huge huge deal? I guess I grew up in the age where stuff like this....happened sometimes? I remember LJ had a separate hosting for a page that just confirmed if LJ was up or not so if LJ went down, that page wouldn't be affected. (I prefer that to the modern "just have a twitter account" method because twitter is a big 'ol mess right now, but I suppose that wasn't totally anticipated.) So I'm just used to this happening sometimes, and I know Ao3 is committed to getting back online so I'm not terribly worried. (I will once again note to myself to download all the fic I want to save forever because one day Ao3 won't get back up. Note to self! Take care of this!)

HOWEVER.

The thing that really got me today is that this? Is being reported? In the NEWS?

I? Hate this?

I recognize that faction becoming more mainstream means more people have access and knowledge of it and that's a good thing, it gives more people access and joy and that's a good thing. But I hate this so much. For a few, overlapping reasons.

I mean, I don't want to say I liked fanfiction more when it was more obscure because that's definitely cringe hipster, etc. But you know what? I DID! I liked it better when the consumers of fanfiction were like a club, a community maybe. Instead of how it's starting to feel now like a commodity. I find the line now is between people who read fanfiction and fan creators (writers, podficcers, etc.) and I dunno, I want to share fanfic with other people who want to talk about this stuff with me, with that community, not with people who treat it like...like a product for them to consume. Maybe the whole point of fandom to me was the messy weird creative culture of it and as the numbers seem to skew wildly, I just...don't enjoy it the same way anymore. I know people talk about how fandom culture was just as toxic in the old days, and yeah, sure, but it worked better for the weird trash wiring of my own brain better back then, I guess.

And FURTHERMORE, it's opening us up to stuff like this Archive of Our Own is down so if you were in the middle of a 100,000 word anime fanfic you can go touch grass or something equally unexciting. The judgement and condescension! I hate it! So much! It was always there, but I guess I didn't mind it when it was more underground because subcultures being misunderstood is whatever. But now the writer self identifies as someone who uses AO3 and we still get the judgement!

I bet Sarah Z. is goin to make a video ugh ugh save me now.

You know what?

I miss LJ.

I mean, I say that all the time, but there was an Arisia panel about "Storytelling Platforms*" (read: fanfiction platforms mostly) and ahhhhh I miss LJ.

My favorite part of being in fandom was just talking about it. Talking about fic, talking about meta, having these long rambly conversations with a handful of people...it's my favorite.

And I liked that on LJ things didn't get too big. Thirty people could have an AWESOME amount of threads and conversation and spin-off threads and ideas and fic. Tumblr is too big and it gets impersonal and crazy and there aren't conversation on tumblr, there are reblogs which is not remotely the same thing.

I haven't logged into my tumblr account in...a year now? I locked both of my twitter accounts back in 2019. Most of my fandom conversation is happening on whatsapp these days, which is great, but only two people want to talk my fandom with me and I feel incredibly guilty because whatsapp is a demand platform - I can't post and then rest to see if they want to talk to me. I have to actively approach them for conversation and it's a lot harder for them to turn me down if they aren't interested. And people are allowed to drift away from fandoms! But it's just...harder. And of course, it's impossible to meet new fan friends on whatsapp.

I still have discord, but I find discord a LOT HARDER to use. It's so fast-paced, and you miss stuff, and there's no easy way to link back to an earlier part of the conversation and there are no threaded conversations and I find it pretty impersonal and difficult. I haven't made any fandom friends online since...gosh. A long time.

Anyway, the panel was amazing, and I enjoyed every minute. But I ached with missing LJ. Honestly, the panel made me interested in checking out Wattpad for the first time, because they have some conversation tools and that just...so hard to find.

(I recognize as I say this that I'm on Dreamwith. And I ADORE Dreamwidth! It's just not where my fandom conversations are and it's fandom I'm looking for, I have to be honest.) (Although man, I love you guys here. I'm working on logging in more, and checking my flist more too ♥)

( *Actual description of the panel below )

copperbadge just gave an oral history of fandom on his tumblr and HE EXPLAINED WHAT WEBRINGS WERE FOR.

I literally had no idea wtf webrings were supposed to do when I stumbled on them circa...somewhere between 1999-2002? I remember just being really puzzled at them and poking at them and giving up on them entirely as something I would Never Understand. (No, really. I was so exited by them because they were about Things I Was Interested In, but I could. not. grock.)

I recognize how lucky I was to get into fandom post-ff.net (as much as I complain about it now.) It really informed my early fandom days of copying out giant swaths of fic and printing them out in teeny tiny print with the narrowest margins so I could inhale them on the morning bus rides to school. It's also been a great preserver of so much of the fic that would have otherwise been lost on personal servers and even LJs.

I love fandom, fandom culture, and it's weird, underground, oral history.

ETA: I recognize that a lot of fandom spaces are full of youths making the olds feel unwelcome, which suuuucks, but maybe it's the people I follow and the fandoms I've been in, but I still feel awfully young in fandom. Yes, even as the youths do things that mystify me and I find out that my fandom lexicon is completely outdated (lemons? squick? disclaimers???). Or maybe it's that I spend most of my time in old/closed fandoms. Or, really, it's probably that I am a fanfic snob and absolutely end up reading stuff by writers who have honed their craft -- unlike me, my stuff is adequate at best -- and I sorta wait for people to learn to separate between paragraphs when different people are speaking before befriending them. (I am a snob, write what you like.) So, in the end, still feel young, and it's wildly comforting to know there are people with rich, full, awesome lives still bopping around in fandom squee with us.

...is squee an outdated term too?

The OTW board is exploding in fire and mayhem!

Well, I mean, if you read the official post it sounds like business as usual, chaos disguised in politely worded sentences and punctuation. Luckily, fandom reporters got us covered.

My take? The board is always going to have to deal with constituencies who don't agree with everything they have done. (See: Unions!) Buuuuuut, on the internet, it's going to be magnified times A THOUSAND.

A lot of people have been (rightly!!) complaining that the OTW board was becoming insular and combative. Which is definitely true. But gosh, you couldn't pay me enough to be a board member*. Make one small mistake, or even just a decision that isn't universally adored, and you will be CRUSHED under the negative feedback spiral.

It can get kinda hard to separate the signal to the noise in that scenario. And frankly, I too would hide behind my star-spangled shield and sing the pokemon theme song to drown it all out. I don't agree with every decision the board made, but I do think they cared. I actually do with them the best.

Going forward, I'm almost considering donating and becoming a voting member. I have zero spare time, but this matters to be and I think this could be a great opportunity moving forward. And everyone is super excited about the potential. But if we really think the OTW should be run and contributed to by everyone, we too have to take responsibility in how we contribute.

The board screwed up. I'm not trying to defend the things they did wrong. I'm just saying it's so easy for the internet (you know, where fandom is) to end up in some very unproductive and damaging communication styles. And it's not always easy to find the blame for fallout.

*Not true. I'm looking at my job options these days AND YOU COULD PAY ME ENOUGH. Just don't make me bill out at 6-minute increments.

ETA: Also, the OTW has some pretty awesome legal staff, I vote we stop saying that stuff that was happening was illegal.

OH NO OH NO OH NO.

JEZEBEL DID AN ARTICLE ON ALPHA/BETA/OMEGA/KNOTTING/ETC. FIC.

I CAN’T EVEN BRING MYSELF TO READ THE ARTICLE.

D: D: D: D:

*stops talking about fandom to anyone not already involved forever and ever*

So, my roommate, batyatoon and sdelmonte have all heard my excited rambles about how I would really love to run or help organize a fandom convention dedicated to the back-end of the fandom, i.e. fanworks, forums, fan discussion, fans etc.

And I haven't really seen anything like that* so I was super excited today when I heard about KudosCon, which is a fanworks convention. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

(*Last year there was a idea floated about doing a fan-track at Dragon*con. I would have totally loved to help, but D*C shot it down. Boooo.)

Now, there is no way in heck I can make it to Bloomington, MN, especially considering I am blowing all of my con-energy this year into a last Dragon*con hurrah, but I'm hoping it starts a trend and it goes well and stuff gets recorded to put online. And I'll even scroll through tumblr for con reports when I feel up to it!

Lookit!. It's so shiny and fannish! Their "about" sidebar is all "and this person did THIS fannish thing!" :D Tickets start at $40, and you can purchase them on Kickstarter.

Addendum: They don't EXIST yet, and they already have some form of a diversity statement and a harassment policy. And a privacy policy! Which is SO SMART for a fanworks con.

( Slightly negative thoughts BELOW the cut! )

All that junk said, I would seriously love to attend every. single. panel at this con. For serious. Gah, I want fandom meta.

*actually freaks out*

If livejournal actually does this and turns my flist into a tumblr feed, I'll...I don't even know. Freak out and cry for a day?

For all its many problems, livejournal has been my fandom home for years. And as a deep-down grumbly old person, I strongly dislike tumblr and the way tumblr functions. A big part of that is my flist. And my fandom life is so focused around livejournal, I don't know what I'll do. D:

(They might be getting rid of comment threads. I need to go breathe into a paper bag for an hour. *cries*)

ETA: I was so upset about this, I made a tumblr. I think I underestimated how much I would dislike how the tumblr feed works. At some point I'll summon back the energy to go back and poke at things. :/

ETA2: Aaaaaand...they might be getting rid of paid accounts? Which isn't a problem for me but I know some of you like your icons.

'Losing Yourself' In a Fictional Character Can Affect Your Real Life.

I see the researchers at The Ohio State University have read fandom_secrets! :D

(Actually, the stuff about experience-taking while reading about gay and black characters was fascinating. Not especially surprising, but definitely interesting.)

I know it's not AO3's fault that I haven't been able to load a page in three weeks without constantly refreshing, but it's certainly not endearing them to me. This may sound harsh, but if your site cannot handle the load, SLOW DOWN YOUR GROWTH. Limit how many fics a person can upload a day. Slow up on the invite codes. (Limit each person to two Avengers fics an hour/snark) They've said it's not a money issue, so they need to find other ways to limit traffic. *sigh*

So I'm back to browsing fic on LJ-only because if I get more than two 502 errors in a row, I give up. I just have no idea where the reams of sappy Coulon fix-its are outside of AO3. Lucky I've got a few hundred Torchwood fics saved in my rec list. *opens*

It's one of the reasons I keep cross-posting to LJ/DW and AO3, even though the Archive is much neater and prettier. I like it in so many ways, but ARGH. *headdesk*

(It is a good motivator for me to finally finish my master post! Should get on that.)

Well, in one of those click-through-the-internet moments, (a friend mentioned this post and then I saw this thread and five minutes of googling later...)

S.E. HINTON WRITES SUPERNATURAL FANFICTION.

It's official. She's my hero.

Plus, I found her twitter! And she's chatting away with Rob Lowe and C. Thomas Howell and I'm going to have to sit in a corner because I. Am. Having. A. Moment.

(For the curious - when I was fifteen I wanted to write original fiction and I thought fanfiction was a good practice/transition. And now in my early twenties, I'm quite happy where I am, thank you, and I'm frankly not all that invested in being an author, for a few reasons. So my reaction to this is mostly "whatevs." That said, I was devastated when I heard Robin Hobb was anti-fanfiction, and I had that same awful feeling when I read Ursuala K. LeGuin's opinion. I can understand Rowling's opinion, even though I gently disagree. I think fandom is really a part of a work becoming a cultural artifact, and fanfiction is just as tied up in there and legitimate as scholarly essays, conventions and chatting with your friends.)

(All that said, I hope she's never seen my Outsiders fic. It's the most emo thing I have ever written and one of the reasons I haven't transferred all of my ff.net fic to AO3. *hides*)

(PPS. John Barrowman is also a S.E. Hinton fan. This all ties into my as yet unposted ~feelings~ about his book, Anything Goes, but my Meet John Barrowman fantasy now involves us bonding over the book. ♥)